Monday also holds something very special. It’s an outlook on what’s to come. I find that very exciting and I anticipate God doing what He does best…He is amazing and does amazing things! Each week I know that plans that I have but God’s plans are usually much different. There are days when I don’t get to anything that “I” have planned to do…and that’s o.k.

Jeremiah 29:11 says, “I know the plan I have for you, declares the Lord.” When it comes down to it, those are the plans that I also want. I have a responsibility to plan to the best of my ability. I work hard and use my time wisely. I head in the direction that I believe the Lord wants me to head down. Then in the midst of me doing the best job that I can, God shows up to guide me, course correct me, illumine me to what His will for right now is.

Tomorrow is my 37th birthday. I will celebrate my 30th year as a child of the King. God has been at working refining me and course correcting me for a long time now….and I am very very thankful.

“Humanitarian”

hu·man·i·tar·i·an /hyuˌmænɪˈtɛəriən or, often, yu-/ Pronunciation Key [hyoo-man-i-tair-ee-uhn]

(Adjective)

1) Having concern for or helping to improve the welfare and happiness of people.

2) Of or pertaining to ethical or theological humanitarianism.

3) Pertaining to the saving of human lives or to the alleviation of suffering: a humanitarian crisis.

Dictionary.com Unabridged (v 1.1)Based on the Random House Unabridged Dictionary, © Random House, Inc. 2006.

I fully realize the word humanitarian is a word that is most often used in secular circles, but I want to borrow it for our readings this week. As you can see above, the word humanitarian is used to describe someone who is concerned with helping to improve the welfare and happiness of people. It is my belief that this is what we are to do as followers of Christ. We, like no one else, have the ability to better people’s lives physically, spiritually, and mentally. We also have the ability to help them experience more joy, which transcends an emotion such as happiness.

Have you heard this following statement before? Single men are positioned to do more humanitarian work around the world than any other demographic. As you read these devotionals this week, pray that God would show you just what he is calling you out to do. There is no greater time in your life to use your resources to impact the world and invest in God’s Kingdom than right now.

1.2.71.1.1 Call

(1)    Matthew 28:19 (AMP)
¹⁹ Go then and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them into the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit,

(2)    2 Timothy 2:1-2 (ESV)
¹ You then, my child, be strengthened by the grace that is in Christ Jesus,
² and what you have heard from me in the presence of many witnesses entrust to faithful men who will be able to teach others also.

(3)    As Christians, we have a call from God that we must answer. As Christian men, we have an even greater call from God to answer. God created us and placed within us a unique identity to provide for, protect, and lead women and children. Too often, I see women having to step up and lead in ways that push them outside of God’s design. Now I am not talking about roles here, but rather identity. Anatomy is not the only thing that separates men from women. We each have a unique identity that was created by the very hand of God.

When Christ said, “Go, make, and baptize,” as recorded in Matthew 28, he was talking to all those who were gathered, as well as all those who would read and hear the words later. It is my belief that we men are to lead out in this endeavor. Jesus did not say, “If you have the gift of an evangelist, go.” No, God desires for all of us to go, and we men need to step out and lead.

The fact is we need to step out and lead in just about every area of our lives and our church. As I look across our homes, our church, and our singles ministry, I see women stepping up and leading time after time. I have more women in our singles ministry leadership than I do men. A year ago, at another church, I took three times as many women as men on a mission trip. Why is this? It’s not because men are not able; rather, I believe it is because men are not encouraging one another to be God’s man.

You are called to be God’s man. A well-known Christian writer penned this great quote: “God never excuses disobedience because his instructions were too vague or too complex.” God’s call is clear. I can’t do it alone, and you can’t do it alone. Let’s join together as men and be exactly what God has called us to be. We can do this together!

Questions:

1. Do you desire to be God’s man?
2. Do you desire to answer the call that God has placed on your life to “go” and to lead?
3. What do you believe our church and single’s ministry would look like if men answered the call to be God’s man?

Prayer: Can I pray today? God, in the name of Jesus, we bow before you – myself as I write this and my brother in Christ as he reads it. God, will you cleanse us from the sin in our lives? Will you make us new before your sight today? God, please give us the strength that we all need to stand for you. Give us the strength that we all need to go, teach, baptize, lead, and guide those in our lives. God, I know that you have called men to be your men. Please bring us all together to hold one another accountable and encourage one another. God, we realize that in order to take our church and the single’s ministry to the place that you desire them to be, we have to step out and step up. In the name of Jesus we pray, AMEN!

1.2.81.1.2 Impact

(1)    Acts 13:36 (ESV)
^36a For David, after he had served the purpose of God in his own generation, fell asleep and was laid with his fathers

(2)    When I was first thinking about impact, I thought we could only have impact in our own generation. But that’s not correct, is it? In Acts, Paul writes that David “served” the purpose of God in “his own generation.” You see, we can only serve in our own generation, but the impact of that service can last for generation after generation after generation.

It has always been my desire to have an impact in my generation. I believe that God has specifically called me to have an impact in single’s ministry across the globe. I believe that God started the church with singles and that God desires to draw singles together to accomplish something never seen before in generations past nor present. I believe that God impacts our lives as he engages with us on a daily basis. We, in turn, are to impact those around us.

Do you want to be a person of impact? If you do, you can do something about it now. Though your impact can last long after you are gone, you can’t do anything after you are dead. If we desire to impact generations to come, we have to serve God right now. Whether we like to admit it or not, not serving the Lord also leaves a lasting impact – just not a good one.

Questions:

1. Is anything in your life holding you back from serving God?
2. Do you want to be a person of impact?
3. If nothing was holding you back, what area would you most want to impact?

Prayer: Ask God to give you the energy and knowledge to work through any issues that are holding you back from serving him today. Ask God to show you ways you can leave a lasting, positive impact.

1.2.91.1.3 Resources

(1)    Luke 12:41-48 (NASB)
⁴¹ Peter said, “Lord, are You addressing this parable to us, or to everyone else as well?”
⁴² And the Lord said, “Who then is the faithful and sensible steward, whom his master will put in charge of his servants, to give them their rations at the proper time?
⁴³ “Blessed is that slave whom his master finds so doing when he comes.
⁴⁴ “Truly I say to you that he will put him in charge of all his possessions.
⁴⁵ “But if that slave says in his heart, ‘My master will be a long time in coming,’ and begins to beat the slaves, both men and women, and to eat and drink and get drunk;
⁴⁶ the master of that slave will come on a day when he does not expect him and at an hour he does not know, and will cut him in pieces, and assign him a place with the unbelievers.
⁴⁷ “And that slave who knew his master’s will and did not get ready or act in accord with his will, will receive many lashes,
⁴⁸ but the one who did not know it, and committed deeds worthy of a flogging, will receive but few. From everyone who has been given much, much will be required; and to whom they entrusted much, of him they will ask all the more.

(2)    I wanted to include this whole passage today because I believe it fits with today’s topic of resources. God has given us all resources to be used for his glory. You have all of those things – career, relationships, talents, money, and time – which we talked about in week one. God’s desire is that you surrender all of those things to him. When we surrender our resources to God, we serve him and really don’t have to even think about being found faithful. God’s not asking for perfection, just faithfulness.

God has given “much” to all of us. We all may not have the same amount of money in the bank, live in the same size house, or have the same car, but we do have “much.” The problem is that sometimes we are so focused on what we don’t have that we overlook all we do have. Don’t allow Satan to rob you of the joy from all of God’s blessings.

In the parable from Luke 12, Christ is the master and we are the steward. Jesus Christ is going to return and we will come face to face with him one day. Will he find me, Clayton, faithful? Will he find you faithful? Just as God found Adam after he sinned and tried to run and hide, God will find us. He will hold us accountable for what we did or didn’t do with all he has given us. You have been given resources to be used today, right now, for God’s Kingdom.

Questions:

1. Are you being faithful to God with all of your resources?
2. Putting money aside, what other resources has God given you that you could use more?

Prayer: Ask God to use all that you are and all that you have for his glory. Ask God to show you specific ways he can use your resources in your small group, your church, and the world.

1.2.101.1.4 Investment

(1)    Matthew 6:19-21 (ESV)
¹⁹ “Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal,
²⁰ but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal.
²¹ For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

(2)    Joshua 24:15 (ESV)
¹⁵ And if it is evil in your eyes to serve the Lord, choose this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your fathers served in the region beyond the River, or the gods of the Amorites in whose land you dwell. But as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.”

(3)    From time to time, I log into my retirement account via the Internet. I am able to see how much my retirement account has grown or shrunk. I have a wife and three girls, and I am responsible to take care of them as long as I live. I am attempting to invest my money properly so I am able to provide for them in the future.

Do you ever ask yourself this question: “What am I investing for the future?” Now I am not talking about financial investing, although that could be an area, but rather, how are you investing your life? I have the option of spreading my retirement funds among many different types of growth accounts. I have the option of international, small cap, and other accounts. Some accounts have less risk, but subsequently, the return is less. Other accounts are very risky, but with the risk come the reward and the larger return.

Life is a little bit the same way. We are all shaped uniquely. Some of us are called to invest our lives in areas that are less risky than others. Some will jump into a plane and head across the pond on a moment’s notice to hike two days to help build a water well for an unreached people group in a third-world country. Still others invest their lives by building relationships with friends at work in order to invite them to weekend services. The point is not how you are investing your life. The point is that you are investing your life. The return on your investment is God’s responsibility.

1.2.111.1.5 Stage

(1)    1 Corinthians 7:6-7 (ESV)
⁶ Now as a concession, not a command, I say this.
⁷ I wish that all were as I myself am. But each has his own gift from God, one of one kind and one of another.

(2)    1 Corinthians 7:32-34 (ESV)
³² I want you to be free from anxieties. The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord.
³³ But the married man is anxious about worldly things, how to please his wife,
³⁴ and his interests are divided. And the unmarried or be trothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit. But the married woman is anxious about worldly things, how to please her husband.

(3)    It is very appropriate that “stage” is the final topic of our time together. I pray that these past several days of devotion and Bible study have proven to be fruitful for your life. I believe beyond a shadow of a doubt that this is the most important stage of your life. As a single man, you have opportunities you may never have again to accomplish tasks for God’s Kingdom. It is no accident that you have gone through this devotional study and are at this place in your life today.

Many single men and single women talk to me about marriage. Our world places such an emphasis on marriage that it tends to become the focus. Marriage is created by God and is absolutely wonderful when it is done God’s way and to his glory, but it should never be your focus. God has a plan for your life and God may have a godly woman that he is shaping for you even as you read this. If you are called to be married, then let your focus be God and he will bring that person into your life. Be patient and allow God to work. Tommy Nelson is a well-known speaker and the author of the “Song of Solomon” study. Tommy says: “Run just as hard and as fast as you can toward God. As you are running, look to your left and to your right and see who is running just as hard and as fast as yourself.” That may be who God has fashioned to run life’s race with you. The problem comes into play when Christian men and women grow weary of waiting on the Lord and slow the race down to settle for someone running in the pack. God wants more for you than that, so please don’t settle; it’s just not worth it.

Paul identifies in 1 Corinthians 7 that to be single is to be in a wonderful place in life. You have the ability to focus all of your energy on God’s work. When you are married, your focus is divided as you have the added responsibility of providing for and protecting your wife and children. You are able to do more for God during this time than any other. The point really isn’t whether or not you are called to be single; instead, while you are single, serve God, love others, and be God’s man.

Questions:

1. How have you grown during the past five weeks?
2. What has become clearer to you about your life and walk with God?
3. What do you believe your next steps should be in your devotional material?

Prayer: Thank God for allowing you this opportunity to serve him. Be honest with God about your desire to become married. Be honest about potential frustration that you may have had with previous relationships. Ask God to use you during this time of your life like never before.

Week Five Small Group Discussion Guide

Connect

Use this as check-in time. What were you thinking about on your way to meet together? Follow up with your group and update them on what you discussed in your last check-in time.

Grow (Discuss the following Scriptures, quotes, and questions from your readings.)

What study options have you found, or what study have you decided to do?

1. As Christians, we have a call from God to answer. As Christian men, we have an even greater call from God to answer. God created us and placed within us a unique identity to provide for, protect, and lead women and children. Too often, I see women having to step up and lead in ways that push them outside of God’s design. Now I am not talking about roles here, but rather identity. Anatomy is not the only thing that separates men from women; we each have a unique identity that was created by the very hand of God.
2. Do you desire to be God’s man?
3. You see, we can only serve in our own generation but the impact of that service can last for generation after generation after generation.
4. Do you want to be a person of impact? If you do, you can do something about it now. Though your impact can last long after you are gone, you can’t do anything after you are dead. If we desire to impact generations to come, we have to serve God right now. Whether we like to admit it or not, not serving the Lord also leaves a lasting impact – just not a good one.
5. If there was nothing holding you back, what area would you most want to impact?
6. Are you being faithful to God with all of your resources?
7. Putting money aside, what other resources has God given you that you could use more?
8. Do you ever ask yourself this question: “What am I investing for the future?” Now I am not talking about financial investing, although that could be an area, but rather, how are you investing your life? I have the option of spreading my retirement funds among many different types of growth accounts. I have the option of international, small cap, and other accounts. Some accounts have less risk, but subsequently, the return is less. Other accounts are very risky, but with the risk come the reward and the larger return.
9. Many single men and single women talk to me about marriage. Our world places such an emphasis on marriage that it tends to become the focus. Marriage is created by God and is absolutely wonderful when it is done God’s way and to his glory, but it should never be your focus. God has a plan for your life and God may have a godly woman that he is shaping for you even as you read this. If you are called to be married, then let your focus be God and he will bring that person into your life. Be patient and allow God to work. Tommy Nelson is a well-known speaker and the author of the “Song of Solomon” study. Tommy says: “Run just as hard and as fast as you can toward God. As you are running, look to your left and to your right and see who is running just as hard and as fast as yourself.” That may be who God has fashioned to run life’s race with you. The problem comes into play when Christian men and women grow weary of waiting on the Lord and slow the race down to settle for someone running in the pack. God wants more for you than that, so please don’t settle; it’s just not worth it.
10. How have you grown during the past five weeks?

Serve

Use this time to go around the group and share what your needs are with one another. Take every opportunity to meet the needs within your group as they arise. What was the result of items shared last week?

Share

What personal, local, or global opportunities are available to your group that you are going to do? What is your three-month, six-month, and 12-month plan?

Worship

Go back and look at all of the requests and the way God answered them. Praise God for working during the past five weeks.

“One another” community

Single men and women have the greatest opportunity to impact God’s Kingdom on a local and global scale. They are the primary demographic that has the time, money, talents, and options to go wherever and do whatever God and the church need.

There is, of course, a caveat for some who are single moms and single dads. If you are a single dad, your children should always be your focus and you should be content ministering to your precious flock. Other opportunities will come around when your children are grown and gone from home. You will never be able to wind the clock backward to revisit missed opportunities. God is glorified when you love your children as he desires you to love them.

Now back to others who do not have children or whose children have moved out of the house. The first step in being mobilized to serve is recognizing that you are part of something much larger than yourself called the Body of Christ. You are part of a community of believers globally and you are part of a community of believers locally. This step means you have to move from being self-focused to being outwardly focused. This is a process that needs your attention often. But once you realize the need to be outwardly focused, you can see how God needs you and how he has gifted you to complete a vital piece of his incredible Kingdom.

1.21.1 Community

(1)    Galatians 6:2 (ESV)
² Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.

(2)    Did you know that there are 35 “one anothers” in the New Testament? Let me list just a few for you: love one another; depend on one another; be devoted to one another; wash each other’s feet; rejoice with one another; weep with one another; live in harmony with one another; accept one another; admonish one another; greet one another; wait for one another; and so on and so forth. Isn’t it incredible to know that you were not created to live in isolation and to do life on your own? God created you and placed you in the midst of others so you can walk alongside each other.

As we live our lives in community, we take on many different roles. Life is not always the same; there are ups and downs, twists and turns, both good times and bad. You will be called upon to meet the needs of others as a caregiver, provider, comforter, and even at times a messenger. List some ways God has used you to minister to others.

When you served others who were in need, did you walk away feeling as if you were the one who received the blessing? I know your answer will probably be “yes.” That is just the way God works. It seems as if the more we live a life of obedience and act according to God’s desire, we are blessed in ways we could never predict or imagine.

Prayer: Thank God for calling you and equipping you to complete wonderful tasks for his Kingdom. Ask God to show you ways you can serve those around you this week.

1.2.21.1.2 Self-focused

(1)    Philippians 2:1-8 (ESV)
¹ So if there is any encouragement in Christ, any comfort from love, any participation in the Spirit, any affection and sympathy,
² complete my joy by being of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind.
³ Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves.
⁴ Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.
⁵ Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus,
⁶ who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped,
⁷ but made himself nothing, taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form,
⁸ he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross.

(2)    As followers of Christ, we should be just that – followers of Christ. We are to imitate Christ in all we say and do. The passage above tells us that we are to be of the same mind and in full accord. We are to also live lives of humility and consider others’ needs and interests above our own.

If you ever find yourself trying to justify focusing on your own needs and desires in life, re-read the passage out of Philippians. What did Christ do? What example did he set for us? What did Christ leave behind when he humbled himself and came to earth to be born as a man? Why did Christ do this?

Christ did this for all mankind. Christ did this because it was part of God’s plan to restore a fallen man with a holy God. It was the only solution to the problem of sin and eternal separation from God. In doing this, Christ set the highest example for us, his children.

As I talk to people who are involved in one tough situation after another, I see that they often focus on themselves and their own problems. Satan uses our propensity to focus on ourselves as a way of distracting us from meeting the needs of others. When we focus on ourselves, we are turned inward and do not notice what all is going on around us. This prohibits us from even noticing the people that God allows us to encounter on a daily basis. On many occasions, when I have counseled people dealing with all types of problems, I  have suggested that they begin to serve others.  I encourage them to take crawl steps and then lead them to walk and run.

Questions:

1. Dream for a minute with me. What could your Church look like if single men began to focus on others more than themselves?
2. What is prohibiting this from taking place?
3. Do you think single men can make a difference at your local church?
4. Do you think God is calling single men to take a lead in making a difference at your church?

Prayer: Ask God to show you if you struggle with focusing on yourself. It may be that you have great balance in this area of your life. If not, surrender this over to the Lord and allow him to turn your focus from inward to outward.

1.2.31.1.3 Other-focused

(1)    1 John 3:16-18 (ESV)
¹⁶ By this we know love, that he laid down his life for us, and we ought to lay down our lives for the brothers.
¹⁷ But if anyone has the world’s goods and sees his brother in need, yet closes his heart against him, how does God’s love abide in him?
¹⁸ Little children, let us not love in word or talk but in deed and in truth.

(2)    Romans 12:9-10 (ESV)
⁹ Let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good.
¹⁰ Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor.

(3)    The passage from 1 John really hits you square between the eyes, doesn’t it? Jesus Christ “laid down his life for us!” How amazing is that? The king of kings and the lord of lords stepped out of Heaven, was born of flesh as a baby, lived a blameless life, was crucified on a cross, was buried in a tomb, and rose from the grave. Why? For us.

The second part of verse 16 is just as telling. In the same manner as Christ’s example, we are to lay down our lives for our brothers (gender inclusive). How? The answer is found in verse 17. We are to lay down our lives for one another by meeting the needs of one another. When our brothers and sisters in Christ have needs, we don’t say, “I’ll pray for you” if God has equipped us to meet that need. Of course not.  We meet that need.

As you meet the needs of others, allow God to receive the glory. I will never forget a friend of mine who was really great at meeting the needs of others. The downside was that every time he served someone else, he picked up the phone and called someone to tell that person what good deed he had just done. His actions were correct but his motives were wrong. In situations like this, when we take the credit for our good deeds, our reward will only be on earth. When we do things with the proper motives and desire God to receive the glory, our reward is both here on earth and awaiting us in heaven.

Questions:

1. In what ways has God equipped you to meet the needs of others?
2. What resources have God given you that you can use to serve others?
3. What experiences have you gone through in your life that can be used to encourage others?

Prayer: Pray that God would move you to open up your heart, life, and resources to meet the needs of others within your community.

1.2.41.1.4 Gifted

(1)    1 Peter 4:10-11 (CEV)
¹⁰ Each of you has been blessed with one of God’s many wonderful gifts to be used in the service of others. So use your gift well.
¹¹ If you have the gift of speaking, preach God’s message. If you have the gift of helping others, do it with the strength that God supplies. Everything should be done in a way that will bring honor to God because of Jesus Christ, who is glorious and powerful forever. Amen.

(2)    What if I gave you a very special gift for your birthday one year and you just carried it around with you? People around you noticed you carrying the gift on your side and were curious as to whether or not you would ever open it. Day after day, week after week, people needed you to use what was inside that gift box, but day after day, week after week, you never did. The gift that I gave to you would be wasted, wouldn’t it?

When you trusted in Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior, you were given a gift. In fact, each of us was given the same gift: the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit manifests itself (or shows up) inside our lives through our spiritual gifts. We are to use these spiritual gifts for God’s glory as we serve the Body of Christ, the Church.

At my church, you often hear about S.H.A.P.E. If you have never heard the term, let me explain it to you. S.H.A.P.E. stands for:

Spiritual gifts

Heart

Abilities

Personality

Experiences

I believe that God does not make mistakes; that means he didn’t make a mistake by forming you just the way you are. You have been given specific spiritual gifts, a heart, abilities, a personality, and all kinds of experiences that God desires to use to strengthen his Church. Believe it or not, God can use every single part of who you are for his glory!

Question: Do you know what gift you are carrying around that God has given you to use to strengthen his Church? What are the ways that you are using your spiritual gifts? Do you notice other men around you who are not sure of their spiritual gifts and are therefore not using them? (If you are not sure about what your spiritual gift is or what your S.H.A.P.E. is, attend the next C.L.A.S.S. 301 on campus. You will leave knowing your spiritual gift and your S.H.A.P.E).

Prayer: Thank God for using you. Thank God for not giving up on you. Thank God for forgiving you and for having a purpose for your life. Ask God to show you how he desires for you to use your S.H.A.P.E. today.

1.2.51.1.5 Needed

(1)    Ephesians 2:8-10 (CEV)
⁸ You were saved by faith in God, who treats us much better than we deserve. This is God’s gift to you, and not anything you have done on your own.
⁹ It isn’t something you have earned, so there is nothing you can brag about.
¹⁰ God planned for us to do good things and to live as he has always wanted us to live. That’s why he sent Christ to make us what we are.

(2)    As we discussed in the previous reading, we all are gifted by God. Why? We are gifted because God planned good works for us to do and we need the gifts to do them. If we do not use the gifts that God has given us, then the works that he planned for us will go undone. The amazing truth is GOD NEEDS US!

Now God obviously doesn’t need us in the same way we need him, but, instead, he needs us by his design. I can’t think of a greater honor than to be needed by God, can you?

God really did create a beautiful circle: We need him to complete our lives; he creates good works that he needs us to do; and we have to rely on him to work in us and through us to complete those very works. When you look at it, you could ask: “Why doesn’t God just do everything himself? Wouldn’t it be a lot easier?” The long and short of it is that God could do things more easily and quickly by himself, but that isn’t his plan. God allows us to participate with him to fulfill his purposes. How amazing is that!

Questions:

1. What does God need you to do today?
2. Are there works that he planned for you to do today?
3. Have you gone before the Lord to ask him?

Prayer: Ask God to lead you to complete his good works, which he planned for your life. Thank God for allowing you to participate with him in fulfilling his purposes.

1.2.61.1.6 Expressed

(1)    Luke 8:14 (AMP)
¹⁴ And as for what fell among the thorns, these are [the people] who hear, but as they go on their way they are choked and suffocated with the anxieties and cares and riches and pleasures of life, and their fruit does not ripen (come to maturity and perfection).

(2)    John 14:24 (AMP)
²⁴ Anyone who does not [really] love Me does not observe and obey My teaching. And the teaching which you hear and heed is not Mine, but [comes] from the Father Who sent Me.

(3)    OK, I have to admit there were times when I was growing up when I didn’t always do what my parents asked. I vividly remember a few Saturdays when I would be watching TV on the couch and my parents would walk through and ask me to do something. I would say, “OK” and then go back to watching TV. A few minutes later, they would walk back through and say, “I thought I asked you to do ________?” My reply would be, “You did.” Their reply would then be, “Then why haven’t you done it?”

Simply hearing is not enough, is it? No, we have to do. Living a life that brings honor and glory to God is a life of obedience. In order to be obedient, we have to both hear and do. Maybe I should really say listen and do. There is a difference between hearing and listening. I can hear lots of things but never listen to them. It happens all of the time. But to be obedient, we have to listen and do. It’s action.

Needs are all around you, and God is calling you to meet some of them. Needs exist in your local church, in your small group, in your group of friends, and in your family.

Questions:

1. What will your response to God be today?
2. Will you listen to what God is saying to you today?
3. Will you then do what God is asking?
4. When God is stirring in your heart and you know you are being asked to extend yourself and meet the need of someone around you, will you do it?

Prayer: If you have heard God but haven’t listened to him, maybe this would be a good time to be honest before the Lord by confessing this. Ask the Lord to continue to use you and give you the strength you need to not be just a hearer of the Word but a doer of the Word!

Week Four Small Group Discussion Guide

Connect

Use this as check-in time. What were you thinking about on your way to meet together? Follow up with your group and update them on what you discussed in your last check-in time.

Grow (Discuss the following Scriptures, quotes, and questions from your readings.)

Begin looking for your next small group study. It’s already week four of this one, and there is only one more week left!

1. List some ways in which God has used you to minister to others.
2. Will you listen to what God has to say to you today?
3. Will you then do what God is asking?

1. If you ever find yourself trying to justify focusing on your own needs and desires in life, re-read the passage out of Philippians. What did Christ do? What example did he set for us? What did Christ leave behind when he humbled himself and came to earth to be born as a man? Why did Christ do this?
2. Do you think that single men can make a difference at your church?
3. 1 John 3:16-18 (ESV)
   ¹⁶ By this we know love, that he laid down his life for us, and we ought to lay down our lives for the brothers.
   ¹⁷ But if anyone has the world’s goods and sees his brother in need, yet closes his heart against him, how does God’s love abide in him?
   ¹⁸ Little children, let us not love in word or talk but in deed and in truth.
4. In what ways has God equipped you to meet the needs of others?
5. What resources has God given you that you can use to serve others?
6. God really did create a beautiful circle: We need him to complete our lives; he creates good works that he needs us to do; and we have to rely on him to work in us and through us to complete those very works. When you look at it, you could ask: “Why doesn’t God just do everything himself? Wouldn’t it be a lot easier?” The long and short of it is that God could do things more easily and quickly by himself, but that isn’t his plan. God allows us to participate with him to fulfill his purposes. How amazing is that!
7. Needs are all around you, and God is calling you to meet some of them. Needs exist in your local church, in your small group, in your group of friends, and in your family.
8. What will your response to God be today?

Serve

What opportunities do you have to serve within your local church?

Share

Have someone go to your local church and visit the P.E.A.C.E. or missions site. In what ways can your small group impact the world around you personally, locally, globally?

Worship

Appoint someone in your group to write down your prayer requests and then to follow up each week and record the way in which God answered your

“It’s all about our identity”

I could reach into my wallet right now and pull out this little card. It’s called a driver’s license, and it identifies who I am. It has a picture on it, my weight, height, eye color, the need I have to wear contacts or glasses, my donor status, and my identification number. It’s pretty complete isn’t it? But is that the sum of my identity? Of course not. There is much more to who I am. I have a wife and three little girls, was born in Texas, etc. But is that really who I am?

When I asked Jesus Christ to be the Lord of my life, my identity changed. My physical DNA didn’t change but my spiritual DNA did. I am no longer Clayton Coates, but Clayton Coates, child of God. My identity is no longer found in who I am but instead who I am in Christ.

Over the next few days, we will compare and contrast what God says about our identity with what the world says about our identity. Pray that God will really take your spiritual life to a new place this week as you seek him on a daily basis. There is no better time than right now for you to discover your true identity.

1.1.71.1.1 Knowledge –

(1)    1 Samuel 2:2-3 (AMP)
² There is none holy like the Lord, there is none besides You; there is no Rock like our God.
³ Talk no more so very proudly; let not arrogance go forth from your mouth, for the Lord is a God of knowledge, and by Him actions are weighed.

(2)    Proverbs 1:7 (AMP)
⁷ The reverent and worshipful fear of the Lord is the beginning and the principal and choice part of knowledge [its starting point and its essence]; but fools despise skillful and godly Wisdom, instruction, and discipline.

(3)    James 1:5-6 (ESV)
⁵ If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him.
⁶ But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind.

(4)    I must admit that a guilty pleasure of mine is to watch reality television. Not that much of it is really “reality,” but nonetheless, that is the category in which it rests. There is one show in particular that can be identified by the catch phrase: “You’re fired.” You guessed it: The Apprentice. The Apprentice is comprised of contestants who are competing for that coveted apprentice position in the Trump organization. All of the contestants have proven themselves in one of two arenas of life: the classroom or the workroom. They are known to have “book-smarts,” “street-smarts,” or both.

An interesting fact about the Christian life is that it is no longer about “what” we know but rather “who” we know. The knowledge that brings glory to God is the knowledge that we cannot do anything apart from him. Our best does not come close to his best. Your knowledge may impress a young lady for a few dates or maybe many dates, but at some point, even the most knowledgeable man will fall short in the eyes of a godly women who desires God’s best.

From the previous passages about knowledge, we can glean:

1. There is only one God.
2. God is knowledge.
3. God is the one calling the shots.
4. Knowledge comes from a healthy fear of the Lord.
5. Knowledge is given to us when we ask God for it.

Now God is the one who has allowed you to have the knowledge that you have. God’s Word also says, “Study to show yourself approved unto God.” God is honored by the way in which we study and show due diligence with the mental resources that he has given to each and every one of us. But God is more honored when we humble ourselves and seek him for the answers to life’s situations instead of relying on our own knowledge. The first temptation of man by Satan in the Garden of Eden was to eat of the tree of the “knowledge of good and evil.” Satan told Eve that if she ate of the fruit, she would have the same knowledge as God and that God didn’t want that. From the beginning, Satan has been trying to get us to rely on our own knowledge and not rely on God’s knowledge.

Questions:

1. Are you more concerned about the knowledge you gain that will position you higher in the eyes of man than you are about seeking God, who grants all knowledge?
2. Do you use your knowledge to glorify God or to boast about yourself and your accomplishments?
3. What does a healthy fear of God look like?

Prayer: Pray that God would use all that you know to point those around you to the God that you know.

1.1.81.1.2 Power: Career

(1)    Genesis 2:15 (AMP)
¹⁵ And the Lord God took the man and put him in the Garden of Eden to tend and guard and keep it.

(2)    Colossians 3:17 (AMP)
¹⁷ And whatever you do [no matter what it is] in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus and in [dependence upon] his Person, giving praise to God the Father through him.

(3)    1 Corinthians 10:31 (AMP)
³¹ So then, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you may do, do all for the honor and glory of God.

(4)  Having power makes us feel like we have really arrived: When we say something, people listen; when we ask someone to do something, they get it done. Power is really nice to have, but power is easily abused. Power can easily go to our heads and it can alter our personality, character, and identity. Sometimes single men can use power derived from a lofty position to create a false identity of who they really are.

As single men who are Christians, we are to do everything in the name and power of Jesus Christ. We are to be dependant upon his power and his spirit to carry us through every decision, every relationship, and every day of our lives.

We are going to be tempted. We are going to be tempted today to make decisions that would create for us more power so that we become more dependent upon self and less dependent on God. Because of this, I encourage us all to be honest with one another and come together to lift one another up in this area of weakness. I don’t know of a man on earth who doesn’t like power and respect. This desire is born within us and we all will struggle in this area. But let us all remember that our identity is now found in our relationship to the most powerful Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. He is the only one who truly has POWER!

Questions:

1. Who in your life can hold you accountable in this area or any area of struggle?
2. Do you struggle with desiring power and respect to boost the way you feel about yourself?
3. Is anyone more powerful than God? In what ways has God shown his power?

Prayer: Humble yourself before God and allow him to be your powerful rock, powerful redeemer, powerful fortress, powerful planner, and powerful provider.

1.1.91.1.3 Money: Things

(1)    Matthew 6:24 (AMP)
²⁴ No one can serve two masters; for either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will stand by and be devoted to the one and despise and be against the other. You cannot serve God and mammon (deceitful riches, money, possessions, or whatever is trusted in).

(2)    Exodus 20:4 (AMP)
⁴ You shall not make yourself any graven image [to worship it] or any likeness of anything that is in the heavens above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth;

(3)    Luke 12:15 (AMP)
¹⁵ And he said to them, Guard yourselves and keep free from all covetousness (the immoderate desire for wealth, the greedy longing to have more); for a man’s life does not consist in and is not derived from possessing overflowing abundance or that which is over and above his needs.

(4)    I will never forget our Ford LTD station wagon growing up. My mom and dad sprung for one in the mid-80s and it was nice. The rear section of the car had two foldable seats that actually faced one another. It was so nice – for a season.

That car that carried me proudly so many places became old and the paint began to chip away. The old station wagon still fulfilled its purpose, but that wasn’t enough for me. For me, a car was much more than a means of transportation – it was a status symbol. This belief only grew stronger as I approached the wonderful age of 16. The cars that my parents were able to afford were not “good enough” for me, so I took out a loan and bought my own car that was up to my standards, so I thought.

I thought that I would feel better about myself. I thought that more girls would want to date me. I thought that I would be happy. Why? Because of what I bought and drove. Now how crazy was that? But how many times do we fall into this trap every day?

We work so hard, sacrificing so many areas in our lives so we can make more money to buy more things that will some day be given away, thrown away, or passed down. Is this any way to live? If I have heard anything over and over again while serving as a pastor it is this: “Clayton, I just thought that if I could make more money, then I could have this (fill in the blank), which would make me happier. And as soon as I had it, I found myself just as empty as before.”

Money is good; money is not evil. But the love of money is evil. Money will pay for a roof over your head, food on the table, transportation, clothes on your back, even a mission trip, but money cannot provide anything. Money cannot provide peace, hope, joy, love, or rest – but God can. He is the one in whom we have all that we will ever need.

The world will always tell you that you need more money and that, along with it, you will find more happiness in life. But God says: “Trust me. I will provide for you out of my riches in glory.”

Questions:

1. Who is in control of your finances?
2. Do you use your finances to create a superficial identity about yourself?
3. Do you judge others by what they do or do not have?
4. Are you in serious debt and in need of help with this issue?

Prayer: Ask the Lord to free you from the love of money. If you are free from this, thank that Lord for being your sole sufficiency. Let the Lord know where you are in your desire to trust him with your finances. Be honest with him; he already knows.

1.1.101.1.4 Relationship: Marriage  ≠ Completeness

James 1:4 (ESV)
⁴ And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.

(1)    For some reason, there is a belief in the singles’ community that marriage equals completeness. To be honest with you, I have actually heard this preached from many pulpits across the country by pastors who mean well, but just don’t think before they speak. No place in Scripture says you are incomplete before you become married. No Scripture says you are incomplete if you are dating. In fact, it is quite possible for a single person to be just as complete as a married person. The important factor is to know what makes someone complete.

Since you asked Jesus to come into your life and become your Lord and Savior, you have had everything you need to be everything God needs you to be. You were given the Holy Spirit to come and dwell within you, to work in you and through you. You were also joined in union with Christ. In other words, you were united with Christ. Christ is complete in and of himself, because he is fully God. Because Christ is complete, you are therefore complete.

James tells us in the previous passage that we can be made perfect, complete, and lacking in nothing when we trust and rely on the Lord for everything, both big and small. James doesn’t say anything about any other relationship apart from the relationship with Christ, which is unspoken but a given in this passage. Through Christ, we are complete.

But what about relationships? What about dating relationships? Are they bad? Well the answer is this: No, they are not bad if they are bringing honor and glory to God. This has nothing to do with whether or not you go to church together or say a prayer before a meal, but it has everything to do with every part of your relationship.

As single men, we fight urges all of the time. We have hit on many of these urges already, but our sexual urges in particular can really damage us. These urges often show themselves when we are in committed, dating relationships. What does the Bible say about this? Read the passage below.

1 Thessalonians 4:3-8 (ESV)
³ For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality;
⁴ that each one of you know how to control his own body in holiness and honor,
⁵ not in the passion of lust like the Gentiles who do not know God;
⁶ that no one transgress and wrong his brother in this matter, because the Lord is an avenger in all these things, as we told you beforehand and solemnly warned you.
⁷ For God has not called us for impurity, but in holiness.
⁸ Therefore whoever disregards this, disregards not man but God, who gives his Holy Spirit to you.

The world really doesn’t have very high standards for relationships, but God does. You see, God is the one who created relationships and he created them for his glory. Many times, Christian men who are single ignore God’s standard and simply look at giving in to their fleshly, sexual urges. This disobedience only leads to future consequences that leave us unsatisfied and once again salvaging broken pieces of our lives. God’s desire is for your relationships to be such rich experiences that words cannot describe them.

Questions:

1. Are you glorifying God through your relationships?
2. Are you staying away from the things that you know God does not desire for you?
3. Are you dating the types of women that God desires for you to date?
4. Are you looking to relationships to complete you, or are you satisfied with Christ being your completion?

Prayer: Ask God to be the one who completes you. Ask God to forgive you and cleanse you from anything in your past relationships that went against his desire for your life. If you are ready, submit your desires for future relationships – even marriage – to God. Yield yourself to God’s best for your life.

1.1.111.1.5 Reputation: Others think

(1)    Philippians 2:4-8 (ESV)
⁴ Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.
⁵ Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus,
⁶ who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped,
⁷ but made himself nothing, taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form,
⁸ he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross.

(a)    If you place a high value on what others think, soon you will begin to be what you think others desire you to be.

(2)    Matthew 19:29-30 (ESV)
²⁹ And everyone who has left houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or children or lands, for my name’s sake, will receive a hundredfold and will inherit eternal life.
³⁰ But many who are first will be last, and the last first.

(3)    Think about this statement, “If you place the highest value on what others think, soon you will begin to be what you think others desire you to be.”  Do you agree with this statement? I see individuals trying so hard to be what others want them to be that they soon don’t even know who they are anymore.

God created you with a specific identity, and God desires to use you for his glory. The world already has a Bill Gates, Clayton Coates, George Bush, Pascal, Picasso, and Rick Warren. God only needs you to be you.

Our chief question should never be, “I wonder what _________will think of me if I do ________?” Our questions should be, “God, what is your desire for me in this situation? God, what should I do?” When we concern ourselves with pleasing God, our reputation will be pleasing to God as well. In fact, when you live a life pleasing to God, the world actually notices and this usually leads to a good reputation, even in the world’s eye.

Questions:

1. How would you define someone with a good reputation?
2. Do you place more emphasis on what the world thinks about you than on God being pleased with you?
3. Do you see how living a life that pleases God can actually be a life the world sees as one of good reputation?

Prayer: Spend some time this morning being still before God. Re-read these Scripture passages and allow Christ’s example to speak to your life. Write down any thoughts and convictions that the Lord leads you to in your time with him today.

Week Three Small Group Discussion Guide

Connect

Use this as check-in time. What were you thinking about on your way to meet together? Follow up with your group and update them on what you discussed in your last check-in time.

Grow (Discuss the following Scriptures, quotes, and questions from your readings.)

1. An interesting fact about the Christian life is that it is no longer about “what” we know but rather “who” we know. The knowledge that brings glory to God is the knowledge that we cannot do anything apart from him. Our best does not come close to his best. Your knowledge may also impress a young lady for a few dates or maybe many dates, but at some point even the most knowledgeable man will fall short in the eyes of a godly woman who desires God’s best.
2. What does a healthy fear of God look like?
3. Who is someone in your life that can hold you accountable in this area or any area of struggle?
4. We work so hard, sacrificing so many areas in our lives so that we can make more money to buy more things that will some day be given away, thrown away, or passed down. Is this any way to live? If I have heard anything over and over again while serving as a pastor it is this, “Clayton, I just thought that if I could make more money, then I could have this (fill in the blank), which would make me happier. And as soon as I had it, I found myself just as empty as before.”

Money is good; money is not evil. But the love of money is evil. Money will pay for a roof over your head, food on the table, transportation, clothes on your back, even a mission trip, but money cannot provide anything. Money cannot provide peace, hope, joy, love, or rest – but God can. He is the one in whom we have all that we will ever need.

1. As single men, we fight urges all of the time. We have hit on many of these urges already, but our sexual urges in particular can really damage us. These urges often show themselves when we are in committed, dating relationships. What does the Bible say about this? Read the passage below.
2. 1 Thessalonians 4:3-8 (ESV)
   ³ For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality;
   ⁴ that each one of you know how to control his own body in holiness and honor,
   ⁵ not in the passion of lust like the Gentiles who do not know God;
   ⁶ that no one transgress and wrong his brother in this matter, because the Lord is an avenger in all these things, as we told you beforehand and solemnly warned you.
   ⁷ For God has not called us for impurity, but in holiness.
   ⁸ Therefore whoever disregards this, disregards not man but God, who gives his Holy Spirit to you.
3. Are you glorifying God through your relationships?
4. Think about this statement, “If you place the highest value on what others think, soon you will begin to be what you think others desire you to be.”
5. How would you define someone with a good reputation?

Serve

Have someone in your group go to your church website/ office and explore service opportunities that are currently needed within the church.

Share

How can you impact the world around you with what you have learned this past week? Who in your life needs to hear the saving message of Jesus Christ?

Worship

Appoint someone in your group to write down your prayer requests and then to follow up each week and record the way in which God answered your requests.

Be A Brother

“To authentically belong”

Authenticity is defined as “the quality of being authentic; genuineness.” The definition for belong is “to be in the relation of a member, adherent, inhabitant, etc.” To authentically belong is to genuinely be in the relation of a member.

Does this definition reflect the way in which you are connecting in relationships with other people? Do you connect genuinely? Does this reflect the way in which you are connected in a relationship with God? No matter what you do or don’t do, God sees and knows your heart. He knows the real you – but do you know the real you? Do you know your signature soul print?

Just as your fingerprint is unique and one of a kind, so is your life. God only created one you, and he created you for a purpose. God desires to use you for a specific purpose and for specific tasks. God also desires the “authentic you” to connect in meaningful relationships with other people.

So many times, we spend our time trying to guess what others desire us to be and then try and become that which we guess others desire us to be. Pretty confusing sentence, huh? But it is even more confusing trying to become something which you were not created to be.

Over the next few days, we will be looking at some elements that are necessary to authentically connect with others. Pray that God will lead you to discover who you are in a very authentic way. God wants you to be you! There is great freedom in that.

1.1.1 Boundaries

1.1.2 Boundaries are “property lines” that should exist in all earthly relationships. Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend write that boundaries serve two very important functions. First, they define us and, second, they protect us. When boundaries do not exist, there is a loss of identity, which can lead to a loss of self. The readings for the remainder of the week will examine the content that should be present in your life. Once you know what the content of your life should be, you’ll better know where to set up the protective “property lines,” or boundaries, of your life.

Let me try my best to give you examples using God as the subject. What are some facts we know about God? God is love; God is true; God is just; God is grace; God has a purpose for our lives; God is merciful; God was not created but has always been; God exists outside of time; God cannot be mocked; God keeps no record of wrong; and so on. All of these facts about God are the content of who God is. Now that we know the content, we set up the “property lines” because we know God cannot be anything other than his content.

Let’s look at your life. What are your boundaries? Let’s start by answering just a few questions. Use these questions as a starting point, and then think of others that help you define your boundaries.

1. Do you believe that you should have the same character as that of Jesus Christ?
2. What are some of the attributes of Jesus’ character? (You might start with the traits about God, listed just previously.)
3. What are your values? Are they based on biblical truth?

So where do boundaries come into play? Now that you have the answers to the previous questions, you can set up boundaries so that the content within your boundaries is not compromised. If you believe your worth is found in your relationship with Christ and your worth comes from him, then that becomes part of your boundary. You will therefore be much more unlikely to allow someone else to devalue you.

Prayer: Ask God to lead you to discover what the content of your life should be. Ask God to help you establish clear boundaries that will help you keep the integrity of your content as well as protect it from external influences.

Remember, in the book of James, James says a double-minded man is tossed back and forth like the waves of the sea. This man does not have his boundaries established and is therefore easily swayed and thrown off course.

1.1.3 Self-confidence

Psalm 8:3-9 (ESV)
³ When I look at your heavens, the work of your fingers, the moon and the stars, which you have set in place,
⁴ what is man that you are mindful of him, and the son of man that you care for him?
⁵ Yet you have made him a little lower than the heavenly beings and crowned him with glory and honor.
⁶ You have given him dominion over the works of your hands; you have put all things under his feet,
⁷ all sheep and oxen, and also the beasts of the field,
⁸ the birds of the heavens, and the fish of the sea, whatever passes along the paths of the seas.
⁹ O Lord, our Lord, how majestic is your name in all the earth!

(1)    There is nothing wrong with being self-confident. In fact, it is vital to authentically connect with others. There is really no way around it. Part of being confident in yourself is liking who God created you to be. God does not make mistakes and when God created you as you are, he didn’t make a mistake. You may think to yourself, “But I’m not this” or “I can’t do that as good as so in so.” Well, the truth is that God didn’t create you to be like another person. Besides that, you will never like yourself if you fall into the trap of comparison. As my wife tells me, “Comparison is a thief of joy.” Comparison is also a thief of being authentic. It distracts us and robs us from the joy of being self-confident.

The passage above illumines us to the truth that God created us with his own hands and he cares for us immensely. God crowned you and me with glory and honor through our union with his son, Jesus Christ. He gave us the entire earth as our playground. We are very important to God, and this very realization should lead us to the place of worship.

Question: Self-confidence for the Christ-follower is being sure of and liking who God created us to be. Are you self-confident? I realize that we all have areas that we are working on and we will always be in the process of being refined, but do you like who God created you to be?

Prayer: Ask God to begin the process of discovering who you are (we will talk more about this next week). Ask God to help you find the balance of being self-confident while not coming across as overly-confident or prideful.

1.1.4 Respect

(1)    1 Peter 2:17 (ESV)
¹⁷ Honor everyone. Love the brotherhood. Fear God. Honor the emperor.

(2)    1 Peter 3:16 (ESV)
¹⁶ yet do it with gentleness and respect, having a good conscience, so that, when you are slandered, those who revile your good behavior in Christ may be put to shame.

(3)    William Wilberforce was a great Englishman who led a great reform in Britain. There were two components to the reform, the first being the abolition of slavery and the second a restoration of civility to the land. The people had just become flat out disrespectful to one another.

List some ways in which our society has become disrespectful.

I wish I could say that this disrespect only happens outside of the church and can only be found in the lives of people who are not followers of Christ, but I can’t. I am sad to say that oftentimes there is really no difference in the way Christians treat one another.

God is pretty clear when he says, “Honor everyone.” This doesn’t mean that we just honor those who look like us, talk like us, smell like us, live like us, wear clothes like us, and have the same beliefs as us. No, we honor everyone.

To honor or respect doesn’t mean that you have to agree with someone. It simply means that you show respect while disagreeing with, discussing with, or confronting other people.

Re-read 1 Peter 3:16. God lays out a pretty good reason for honoring and respecting others, doesn’t he? From time to time, others are going to try to slander and tear you down, and they will try to ruin your credibility and character. If you have been showing others respect and honor, others will not believe what is being said about you and those who are trying to hurt you will be put to shame. Respect has to be present in order for you to authentically connect with other people.

Questions:

1. Does the way you respect people lead others to see the Christ that is in your life?
2. Do you get so caught up in the world’s view that you do whatever it takes to come out ahead, even if it means disrespecting or dishonoring others?

Prayer: Ask God to show you how you treat others. Ask God to help you become one who is known for respecting and being kind to others. Ask God to use you to help restore civility to our society.

Side note: We will examine the element of respecting yourself at a later date.

1.1.5 contentment

(1)    Philippians 4:11 (ESV)
¹¹ Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content.

(2)    1 Timothy 6:6 (ESV)
⁶ Now there is great gain in godliness with contentment.

(a) Arkeo (Greek word for contentment) – To be free from care because of satisfaction with what is already one’s own.(International Standard Bible Encyclopedia)

(3)  Contentment. Now that’s a fun word. It seems as if our society promotes everything but being content. We work longer and harder to buy more so we can have what we want. The sad part is that when we obtain that which we worked so hard for, we are left still wanting more. So what does it take to be content?

Paul gives us a key in Philippians. He frames his statement about learning to be content in every situation by saying, “Not that I am speaking of being in NEED …” A key to contentment is differentiating between a NEED and a WANT. So often we want more, overlooking the fact that our needs have been met.

Re-read the definition of arkeo. Do you want to be free from the things that bind you here on earth? Oftentimes the very things that we own end up owning us. This is not God’s intention. God desires us to be satisfied and content with all that he has provided. In order to be authentic, you have to be content – content with who you are and what you have.

Questions:

1. What things in your life own you?
2. What areas of your life do you need to be content with?
3. List some practical steps you can take toward becoming content in those areas.

Prayer: Ask God to help you identify the difference between needs and wants in your life. Ask God to continue to provide for your needs. And be honest with him; let him know if you have wants. The truth is that God always seems to meet our needs – and then some.

1.1.6 Honesty

(1)    Philippians 4:8 (ESV)
⁸ Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.

(2)    Luke 8:15 (ESV)
¹⁵ As for that in the good soil, they are those who, hearing the word, hold it fast in an honest and good heart, and bear fruit with patience.

(3)    There is no way to get around the fact that in order to connect authentically, you have to be honest. It sounds like a no-brainer, I know, but if it is a no-brainer, then why are we often so dishonest with one another? It’s not that we usually come out and just blatantly lie  – though sometimes we do – but, rather, we communicate partial truths, which are still lies.

God’s standard is that you be a single man who is wrapped in truth, the whole truth. God desires you to focus on what is honorable, just, pure, lovely, commendable, excellent, and praiseworthy. These are the characteristics of a man who has surrendered his life to the Lord. As part of all these characteristics, you need to be honest with yourself and with others.

List times in your life when you were not honest. What were the consequences to your actions?

Now list some times when you were honest, even though it was tough. What were the consequences to your good choices?

Sometimes when we make bad choices, we want to hide the truth and not be honest with those around us. The truth will always come out. The Bible tells us that the truth will set us free. Not being honest only leads to a life full of guilt and the feeling that someone is going to find out the truth. This only perpetuates more and more of the same. This is no way to live and it is not the way that God desires for you to live.

As the saying goes, “Honesty is the best policy.” This is true no matter what the context is in your life. Honesty is the best policy at work, home, in every relationship you have on earth, and in your relationship with God.

Prayer: Ask the Lord to help you in any areas where honesty hasn’t been your policy. Ask the Lord to forgive you and give you the strength to ask others for their forgiveness if it is appropriate.

Week Two Small Group Discussion Guide

Connect

Use this as check-in time. What were you thinking about on your way to meet together? Follow up with your group and update them on what you discussed in your last check-in time.

Grow (Discuss the following Scriptures, quotes, and questions from your readings.)

1. Just as your fingerprint is unique and one of a kind, so is your life. God only created one you and that is for a purpose. God desires to use you for a specific purpose and for specific tasks. God also desires the “authentic you” to connect in meaningful relationships with other people.
2. Do you get so caught up in the world’s view that you do whatever it takes to come out ahead, even if it means disrespecting or dishonoring others?
3. Contentment. Now that’s a fun word. It seems as if our society promotes everything but being content. We work longer and harder to buy more so we can have what we want. The sad part is that when we obtain that which we worked so hard for, we are left still wanting more. So what does it take to be content?
4. God’s standard is that you be a single man who is wrapped in truth, the whole truth. God desires you to focus on what is honorable, just, pure, lovely, commendable, excellent, and praiseworthy. These are the characteristics of a man who has surrendered his life to the Lord. As part of all these characteristics, you need to be honest with yourself and with others.

1. If you believe that your worth is found in your relationship with Christ and our worth comes from him, then that becomes part of your boundary.

Serve

Use this time to go around the group and share what your needs are with one another. Take every opportunity to meet the needs within your group as they arise. What was the result of items shared last week?

Share

How can you impact the world around you with what you have learned this past week? Who in your life needs to hear the saving message of Jesus Christ?

Worship

Appoint someone in your group to write down your prayer requests and then to follow up each week and record the way in which God answered your requests.

When I find myself becoming angry or sad, I ask myself the question “Why?” Why is it that I am emoting in this way. It’s important for me as I have labelled myself an “introverted-extrovert.” As pastor, I have to be “on” when I am in public however at home and in my office, I am pretty quiet and spend a lot of time thinking, dreaming, and reading. Outside of that, I spend the next major block of time with my family and then counseling. I have to notice my emotions as most notice a thermometer. Understanding my emotions helps me get a gauge on where I am at that moment. Can me crazy…others do! lol -

What does this have to do with discipline? Well, when I find myself becoming angry or hurt at something that is on the outside good, I have to examine those places in my life. Many times, these are the places that the Lord is refining in my life through discipline. The pain or anger that I have is often times a result of hurt, pride or fear. That pain is God’s discipline which allows me to see the deep ugly stuff that I need to release to the Lord. That act too is painful.

Discipline makes us aware, its gets our attention. But that is only part of it. We have to then deal with it and learn from it. The only way that God’s discipline will lead to righteousness is if we persevere through it. The act of learning is an act, an act which takes time. It takes a short time period to learn some things and a lifetime to learn others. To truly learn, I (we/you) cannot be distracted by the temporal. What do I mean? In the midst of discipline which is causing us to learn, we cannot be focussed on the end, when this lesson is going to be over. The length of the lesson is the Lord’s and we must trust in Him and Him alone.

I have been learning a lesson for many weeks now. This morning my thermometer was anger and hurt which caused me to recognize discipline. I reached out, I prayed, I yielded to God and I am now o.k. with the fact that the lesson continues.

Why?

Because I know who the teacher is….and if He is teaching me, He isn’t finished with me….

God allows people like Saul and Absalom to be in our lives because he desires to cut out of our lives the very things which are leading us to become just like Saul and Absolum. No matter the situation, whether a cave or a palace, our responsibility is to be HOLY FOCUSSED on the Lord and His will. We are to wait until it is God’s timing and God’s situation before we do anything…even if our life is in jeopardy.

In ministry, there are times when we look around us and see that our peers are seemingly being blessed by God. We question peers who have shaky theology (AT BEST) on T.V. having a greater influence, greater power, greater wealth and we wonder, “God Why?” We have worked for bosses in church who we think we know more than and could lead better than. But is our responsibility to be focussed on their shortcomings or what we perceive to be an injustice? NO! We are to trust God….

I am growing use to the quiet. nothing to hear but my own thoughts. That is even growing quiet. I want to hear from God but if it is not time for Him to speak, then I can find rest in the truth that He is near. The practice of my heart is to ne still and listen-